


The Lost (and Found) Weekend

by WordMusician



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Behind the scenes of Turn Left, Butterfly Effect, Established Relationship, F/M, Timey-Wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-21 21:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22603594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordMusician/pseuds/WordMusician
Summary: Rose is having dreams of things she cannot know.  These dreams are more vivid than they possibly should be.  What if they are not dreams at all?
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 75
Kudos: 49





	1. Startling Things

She woke with a start, heart pounding, instantly alert. She closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing and perhaps slip back into sleep but she was too agitated to stay in the bed. Careful so as not to disturb him, she slid out from under the covers and tiptoed out of the room.

Chilled through with what she thought was night sweat, she grabbed a throw from the back of the lounge chair and padded over to the window. For a few minutes she stared unseeing out into the night, her dream or vision or nightmare replaying in disturbing detail.

_It seemed so real. The London street: the sights, the smells, the sounds, the people. There was the chill of the mist, the harsh lights of the emergency vehicles. And Donna was there, but she didn’t recognize me. I was just another gawking bystander to her. And the Doctor…the Doctor dead!_

Rose pressed a shaky hand against the cool window pane.

Consumed in the aftermath of the dream she almost didn’t register his presence until he wrapped his arms around her, blanket and all, and hugged her back against his chest. “What is it?” he asked quietly.

She shouldn’t have been surprised that he had awakened. He still needed less sleep than the average person and when he did sleep is was usually very lightly. She leaned back into his embrace, grateful for the touch, grateful for his presence. He grounded her. “I don’t know. A strange dream I guess…” The pavement outside gleamed dully with the night’s rain. _Just like my dream._

“Yeah? What about?” He rested his chin on the top of her head and stared out the window with her.

“I was in London. It was like I was dimension hopping again – but it was different. Instead of just popping in on a bad transmit beam it was like doing a running long jump, I suppose. Anyway, I wound up in London. It was night and there’d been some kind of accident because there were all these police and emergency vehicles and a crowd watching.”

“What happened?”

“Donna was there, but she didn’t recognize me. It was like we’d never met or I looked different maybe.”

“Hmmmm,” he hummed sympathetically. She knew he missed his friend very much.

“But that wasn’t the worst thing.” Rose took a steadying breath, determined not to make more of it than she should. It was just a dream after all. “The worst thing was that you were dead – on a gurney under a blanket and your one arm fell down. I could see you pinstriped sleeve and your sonic fell out of your hand.”

She shuddered and his arms tightened around her. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t think that he’s…you know… over there…” She pointed vaguely out the window.

The Doctor turned her around and tipped her chin so he could look into her eyes. As much as she was deeply happy and thoroughly in love with the man before her, she would never stop worrying and loving the time lord either. “He’s fine. Why would he be dead? He regenerates, remember? It’s just a bad dream, love.”

“It was so real.”

“The bad ones always are. Come here.” He hugged her and she felt him kiss the top of her head. “It’s hours before morning. Let’s go back to bed.”

She nodded and let him lead her back to the bedroom. The Doctor then spent the next hour thoroughly proving to Rose that he was most certainly very much alive.


	2. Surprising Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and the Doctor rehash her dream and learn things.

“Still thinking about that dream?”

She shook herself slightly. “Most dreams fade away with morning, yeah? This one I can’t seem to get out of my head.” It was Saturday and they had the whole weekend just to themselves. Pete and Jackie were away on the continent at a Vitex convention. They’d taken Tony with them and were going to turn the business visit into a bit of a vacation.

He buttered his toast before emptying half the pot of jam onto the slice and Rose wondered bemusedly if his new metabolism could handle all those calories. “Why don’t you tell it to me again,” he suggested.

“Well, like I said, I jumped into London and it was night. I was running up the street toward the people and the flashing lights. I think I was looking for you, like when I was dimension hopping and the stars were going out. I was trying to find you.” They shared a smile. “I saw Donna there and I went to her but she didn’t know me. She was friendly enough, but I was a stranger to her. I was trying to see through the crowd, what was going on and she was explaining it to me. She was the one that told me you were dead, and she didn’t know you either. Then I saw you as they wheeled you away…” Rose stopped, still deeply shaken. Intellectually she knew it was just a dream but emotionally she was gripped with a near primal fear. All the time she’d been hopping she’d worried she couldn’t find him or that he’d be changed and not her Doctor anymore. Then right in front of her he’d been shot by a Dalek. Then he’d basically cloned himself and now he only had one heart and no regenerations. He was mortal and therefore fragile and she’d dreamt him dead….

He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. She squeezed back, accepting his comfort, noticing how his skin was slightly warmer now.

Rose pushed on with her story. “I told Donna, you couldn’t be dead, that I’d come so far to find you. She said apparently you’d drowned. That there’d been this strange alien spider web in the sky – “

The Doctor choked on his toast, spitting out the offending morsel. “A what?” he asked hoarsely.

“An alien spider web. Why? Is that important?”

“The Racnoss! Have I ever told you about the Racnoss Empress? That’s the first monster Donna and I defeated, before she even became my companion. Actually she turned me down after that and I didn’t see her for another year or so…´ The Doctor seemed to realize he was going off on a tangent. “I never told you about that adventure, did I?

“No.” They stared at each other. They’d actually shared very little about their time while apart. To date it had largely been living in the moment, getting reacquainted, helping the Doctor acclimatize to his new life and mostly, learning how they could be in love and love each other on the slow path in Pete’s World. 

“Rose, how could you have a dream about an event you knew nothing about?”  
  
“I…I don’t know. You’re telepathic. Could you have been dreaming about the past and somehow projected into my dreams?”

“Nah. It doesn’t work that way, not without a psychic enhancer of some sort, and no I haven’t been building one.” Now there was a speculative gleam in the Doctor’s eye.

“Maybe you did mention it sometime in passing, or I heard about a similar creature existing over here. We have a lot of parallel aliens, you know.”

The Doctor scrubbed at his face. “Maybe.” His tone of voice was skeptical. “Was there more to your dream?”

“Well, after I heard you were dead and realized Donna didn’t know you or me, I left. I just walked away. I was feeling so defeated and discouraged and scared and…and… then I woke up.”

“Tell me about your surroundings, what it was like?”

“Basically, cold and wet. It was night and it had been raining. Felt like winter maybe. Could have been Christmas?”

The Doctor frowned and stood up quickly. He paced the kitchen, muttering to himself. Rose watched, knowing this was his process but worried about the implications.

“What do you think Doctor?”

“I think you have experienced a very strange phenomenon. If we had visited Flanium or traveled through the Hordorn Belt you might have been infected by some psychic pollen. Or if we visited the Ood, they are quite good at this sort of thing. But we’ve been Earthbound for ages. No, it was a dream – it had to be – and yet you experienced things, details, that you have absolutely no way of knowing.”

“What exactly did happen, then? The real adventure you had with Donna and the…Racnoss, you called it? Obviously you didn’t drown.”

The Doctor paused mid stride and leaned against the counter. “Ah, but Rose, I very nearly did.”

Talking mainly to the cupboards and eventually fiddling with the toaster, the Doctor told her how and when he first met Donna. “You’d just told me you loved me and I too late realized how desperately I loved you, and then BAM, there’s this woman in a wedding gown in the TARDIS! Gave me a shock, let me tell you!”

Rose smiled softly. That heartache would never truly be erased, but she was ever so grateful that this Doctor could actually say the words that needed saying. Even when he obliquely referenced the depths of his feelings she felt a thrill and her heart skipped a beat. _God, I hope that never gets old._

He went on to tell her what happened, how Donna’s fiancé had betrayed her and was dosing her with Huron particles so that she could be a pawn in the Empress’ evil plan to hatch her babies and devour the planet. “It was a bad time for me. I was falling into a dark place. I could have drowned that day under the Thames. I believe I was going to, if not for Donna, for her breaking my concentration and reminding me that she didn’t deserve to die.”

Rose wiped at her tear tracks. “I’m so sorry, Doctor. I never meant to hurt you; I just had to tell you. I couldn’t keep my feelings a secret anymore and I’d foolishly hoped that if I said how I felt out loud, that somehow the words could change things. And baring that, if I never saw you again, at least you know you were loved; always loved.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no! Don’t be sorry for that! Never be sorry for that!” He rushed to her side and knelt by her chair. “You were so brave to say it! You gave me such a gift and my deepest regret was that I’d been too much of a coward to confess the truth long before!” He touched her cheek reverently. “You kept me going – once Donna had kicked my sorry attitude to the curb.”

He chuckled and she smiled briefly before asking, “But you can’t really die, can you? I mean as a time lord? You regenerate.”

“Well, usually yes. But a time lord can die. If he suffers a fatal injury before the regeneration process is complete, he will. Or once he uses up all his regeneration cycles. Or if he wills himself not to regenerate.” The Doctor’s eyes took on a haunted quality, but Rose barely noticed. A hard, hot knot was forming in her chest.. 

“ _Wills_ himself! You mean what I dreamt, it could have happened? It was actually possible?” Now it was Rose’s turn to jump up and pace. “I didn’t know that! I never dreamed that…well, yes I did dream it…but I never imagined…!” Icy fingers of dread slid down her spine. “Doctor, I don’t know how, and I have absolutely no idea why, but I don’t think what happened last night was an actual dream.”

The Doctor stood and ruffled his hair. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I’m beginning to believe you.”


	3. Sexy Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sexy specs make an appearance and Rose is distracted. Sugar is spilled but no pottery is broken.

Rose submitted to the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver examination. She tried not to fidget but didn’t like the hems and haws and tisks with which her examiner responded to the readings he received. She did however admire the dark framed glasses that slid down his nose. One of his first purchases had been his “sexy specs” – her nickname not his – even though he’d admitted neither he nor his predecessor had truly required them. “They help me concentrate,” he’d explained. “Don’t you think they make me look more clever?” The accompanying wink had let her know that he knew exactly how they looked on his face and what effect they achieved.

“Your cholesterol is a bit high -- too many chips I’d say. And your iron is rather low.” He turned off the device. “Other than that, there is nothing unusual. No sign of medical interference or alien technology; nothing to explain your unexplainable knowledge.”

Rose sighed; so much for an obvious answer. “Well, what about up here?” She tapped her temple. “You could look in my head.” As much as she didn’t like the idea of the Doctor tromping around in her brain, seeing all manner of personal things, she really wanted to know how and why she was having these vivid dreams.

“I could,” the Doctor hedged his reluctance evident in his voice. “If we had the TARDIS it would be a simple thing. You already have a psychic relationship with her. In fact that’s a possibility: she could have downloaded into your memory all the events you’d missed. An express debriefing if you like.”

“Why?”

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, “A welcome home gift? Expecting you to stay?” They were both silent for a moment. Events that day hadn’t transpired as anyone had planned or imagined.

“So you think the TARDIS told me all that stuff? I know it subconsciously because she implanted it?”

“Well, no. No not really. Just postulating aloud, sorry.”

Again they were silent for moment.

“Doctor, I know I’ve made a big deal in the past about people mucking about in my head. I still don’t like it, but I did get used to the TARDIS and really, given the circumstances, I’d be okay if you wanted to, you know, check?” Rose was trying hard to put on her professional face, but she still looked nervous. There was a lot that she hadn’t shared with the Doctor, with anyone, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to.

The Doctor pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Rose, you’re right. Of course you’re right. But looking into people’s minds, even superficially, can be a very intimate thing…”

Rose stepped in close, running her hands up and over his chest to loop around his neck. “I think we’ve already been quite… intimate.” She could happily set aside this whole strange dream puzzle and just enjoy the moment. Maybe it wouldn’t happen again. Maybe it was just a coincidence. _Maybe I can delude myself._

His hands settled on her waist, his darkening eyes intent on her lips. “Very true. In fact…” He leaned down.

Rose’s eyes fluttered shut at the first brush of his lips on hers. The kiss was slow and languid and when she sighed softly, he pulled her closer. She let her fingers play with the soft hair at the back of his neck, marveling yet again that she was allowed. When his lips parted she tasted the sweetness of the breakfast jam and gave an exploratory lick.

The Doctor moaned deep in his throat and met her half way with a duel of the tongues, agile and quick. Slow and languid escalated to heated and passionate and Rose felt a surge of urgency. The mystery and the hints of danger had stirred their adrenaline cravings and triggered their mutual desire. She needed him. She needed to feel him, skin on skin. She needed to know that this was real.

Tugging at his clothes, he quickly got the hint and in minutes they were making creative use of the kitchen counter. They only hesitated briefly when the sugar bowl clattered to the floor, leaving a mess. The Doctor’s muttered curse set her off giggling but she soon switched from giggles to gasps and groans.


	4. Telepathic Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The experiment is most satisfactory but not fruitful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting twice today since tomorrow promises to be crazy busy.

Later, with the mess in the kitchen cleaned up, showered and dressed, Rose once more broached the topic of a telepathic scan. The whole bizarre dream was like the pink elephant in the room and spoiling their long weekend alone.

“Explain it to me, Doctor.”

“Well…first, I don’t even know how effective I can be now. I’m still sorting through what bits of me are time lord and what’s now human-modified. I might be rubbish at it. I never was that strong at it to begin with.”

Rose nodded. How good he was would remain to be seen. _No harm, no foul,_ she figured.

“Secondly, as I said before, it’s very intimate. We already share our bodies – most delightfully I might add.” He winked and then grinned proudly when she felt a flush rush up her neck and bloom in her cheeks. “But sex, as glorious as it is, is still only surface contact. A psychic connection is with the mind, with the interior of who you are. It can be a sharing of actual emotions and sensations as well as information.”

Rose nodded again. All this she’d guessed for herself. But it didn’t really explain his reluctance. “Are you afraid I’ll see things in your head that you don’t want me to?”

“What? No. No I don’t think so. You’re not telepathic. You wouldn’t be able to initiate anything, only receive.”

“So what’s your problem? Afraid you’ll see things in my head you’d rather not? Afraid your image of Rose Tyler will be ruined?” Rose kept her tone light, but her buried insecurities were pushing for the surface. 

“No! On the contrary…” The Doctor rubbed at his neck, a sure sign that he was squirming inside. “Rose, you still don’t grasp how much I love you; how much I crave connection with you. As a time lord, I could have – gods know I wanted to – I could have telepathically connected with your mind, with your soul, in a permanent bond. On Gallifrey we called such a union bondmate. I never dared scan your mind because I knew once I had I’d never be able to let you go. I could never just do a surface scan with you. The temptation was too great.”

“So you kept your distance.” _In more ways than one._

“And let the TARDIS look after you. And now that I’m part human, I don’t know if I can do it or could do it. And if I still can, I’m afraid I’d be just as trapped as ever.”

Rose felt the prick of rejection. “So you don’t want to bondmate with me.”

“What? No, no, no! I do! I did! Rose, I was terrified I would do it without your permission! I was afraid I wanted you too much and I’d lose control and condemn you to a lifetime as my bondmate and you’d hate me for it. Rightly so.”

Rose could see the irony of his words. The Doctor: the man who routinely took away her option of choice, had feared stripping away her choice and thus had robbed her of the choice. She shook her head. This was nutters. Their whole of reality was nutters. “Okay, I see what you’re saying and I think…I think I’m flattered, yeah? And I get it, as crazy as all this is, I get it. But Doctor, you could have explained things to me. You could have woven it into the conversation somehow – the whole ‘perils of being psychic’ thing – and I’d have appreciated it. I might have been able to make it easier for you. I might have been able to tell you that I’d want to be your bondmate.” _Oh the angst we might have avoided!_

“Rose,” he groaned out her name. “It would have been permanent. You would have been bound to this ancient, damaged creature who is more monster than you ever want to believe. You never would have been able to have a normal relationship.”

“I didn’t want normal. I wanted – I want – you.” Rose held up her hand to keep him at a distance. If he touched her now with that light in his eyes, they’d never get past love making and Rose really wanted to settle some things before she dared to fall asleep. “Now let’s keep on track. Up until now you’ve avoided any telepathic contact with me because you’re afraid it will be too much, yeah?”

He nodded clearly disappointed that Rose was determined to pursue this conversation.

“Okay, but we don’t at this point know if that’s even an issue since your current telepathic ability is untested.” Rose frowned thoughtfully. “I too must admit that this whole crawling around in my head is unnerving, but I trust you, Doctor. I trust you with my life. So, let’s just establish right now that I’m okay with it if you get in my head, look around for whatever is making me dream stuff I shouldn’t and if, in the course of events you make this bond-link thing, well, that’s okay too. We’re properly together now, and well, we might as well make it official on Gallifrey too.” She attempted to joke but her palms were sweaty. _Please Doctor before I lose my nerve._

“Alright,” he relented. “I’m nervous too. But we do need to try and figure out what is happening. Let’s make this a comfortable as possible then.” He sat down on the floor, leaning back against the sofa. He invited Rose to sit between his legs and recline back against him. Once she was settled, he lightly touched his finger tips to her temples. “Now nothing at all might happen. Or you might feel a bit of pressure, just behind your eyes. Best to keep them closed so as not to add visual distraction, okay?”

“Okay.” Rose took a deep cleansing breath and then let it out slowly, willing her body to relax. “I’m ready.”

“Good girl. I’m going to try to just do a surface scan. If there are things you don’t want me to see, just imagine putting them behind a closed door. If I don’t find anything – providing this works at all – then I’ll go deeper and you can let me in one door at a time.”

“I’ll have some control?”

“I’ll try to let you.” She felt his fingers trembling slightly.

She reached up and clasped one wrist. “I trust you. Do it.”

His entering her mind was like making love. His presence warmed her and filled her, stretching her awareness in a delicious way. A satisfied moan escaped them both. Hastily she remembered to tuck away some memories behind closed doors. Someday she knew she would share all, but now was not the time. Locked away were some embarrassing adolescent experiences, her time with Jimmy Stone, and the dark times immediately following her entrapment in Pete’s World. She debated hiding away the arduous journey filed under Dimension Cannon, but decided that in there might be the answers to her dreams. The Doctor wouldn’t like what he saw there, but it was a part of who she’d become. She’d risk it.

She felt herself drifting, losing the sensation of sitting on the floor but there was no fear. He held her and that was enough. Flitting emotions which she assumed he was allowing her to pick up on kept her engaged and distracted. Love. Admiration. Surprise. Amusement. Tenderness. Pride.

Then he was gone and she was alone and his absence was a silent scream in her head. The evil white wall slammed into her face. The Doctor’s hands left her temples to rest heavily on her shoulders, holding her still.

“Easy now. Deep breaths,” he soothed. “I got you. It’s okay, it’s okay Rose.”

“Doctor!” she choked on his name.

His chest shuddered beneath her back. “Yeah.”


	5. Unexpected Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose likes it. She really likes it.

They sat like that on the floor for several minutes until Rose’s bum started to get sore. She wriggled around until she was kneeling in front of him, watching his face. She tried to see behind his eyes, into soul. “That was bloody fucking incredible.”

“I admire your understated eloquence,” he replied with a crooked smile.

“Seriously though is it always like that? No wonder your lot gave up regular sex!”

He laughed at her expression. “No it’s not always like that. Believe you me if it were no one would get anything done! We’d have lolled around and wasted away, drugged on psychic induced dopamine. No, it’s different between you and me because we also love each other. It’s our love that makes the difference.”

Rose smiled proudly. “You did it. You’re still telepathic.”

“Yep! Still got it!”

“And did you…you know, bondmate us?”

He shook his head, obviously proud of his great demonstration of restraint but Rose felt a keen stab of disappointment she didn’t try to hide. _Does he still not understand how completely I want him?_ Suddenly serious, he grabbed both her hands. “I wanted to. I still want to. But the binding can be so much more than just establishing a permanent link. Now that I know I can do it, we can plan for it and take our time and do it right.”

Rose slowly grinned. “Why Doctor, are you proposing to me? That sounded an awful lot like a proposal.”

“Well, yes. Yes I am.” The Doctor scrambled around so that he was on his knees too. “Rose Marion Tyler, would you do me the profound honour of consenting to be my wife, my bondmate and the consummate companion of my days? Will you pledge and bind yourself to me, forsaking all others?”

_Including a certain time lord?_ Rose refused to entertain that stray thought; that Doctor was locked away in a parallel world, never to be seen again. He as not to be considered in this situation. “Yes! Oh absolutely yes!”

They flung themselves together, sealing the proposal with a kiss. Fleetingly Rose couldn’t help but wish he’d slip back into her mind even while their lips caressed. _He was right; I had not imagined such intimacy could exist. Now I want more of it; a lot more._

Eventually they broke apart and the Doctor shouted out his simple joy. Rose laughed and remarked that mom would be over the moon when she heard the good news.

The Doctor’s pale skin lost more colour and his adam’s apple bobbed apprehensively. “O lord. Jackie’s going to want to plan our wedding!”

Rose swatted him playfully. “That’s nothing mate. Jackie Tyler’s going to be your mother-in-law!”

He collapsed back against the couch in mock despair. “That’s it. I’m dying. Right here, right now.”

“Git, she is my mum.”

“And that, that there is one of the greatest miracles of the age! You, Rose Tyler, have a beautiful mind.” 

Implying she suspected that her mum did not, but Rose ignored the insult – those two loved each other in their own comical way. True Jackie was a bit dim and daft about things. On the other hand she was brilliant and clever in other ways and had done a great job as a single working mom and doing a fine job as a billionaire’s wife.

“So, while you were in here – brilliant that is by the way – did you see anything? Did you find out how I could be dreaming about stuff I don’t know about?”

He shook his head. His idiotic grin would not disappear.

“So,” Rose licked her lips in obvious anticipation, beginning to grin herself. “You said you’d have to go deeper then? Look for something hidden away?” 

The Doctor stood and helped Rose to her feet. “I did say that yes. But that is going to require considerable more time and energy from both of us. I recommend we eat some lunch first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned on the proposal, it just sorta wrote itself in.


	6. A Penny Drops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor begins to put two and two together and they come up with a plan.

While they ate lunch the Doctor had regaled Rose with some more of his adventures from early on in their separation. As he remembered the outrageous misinformation the steward of the Titanic had relayed on Earth Christmas traditions, Rose snorted soup out her nose. Her rude behaviour sent the Doctor into a fit of laughter and it felt good to be silly for a while. Sometimes amid solving all the puzzles of the universe one forget how really silly things could be.

Eventually they got back around to her strange ability. “If you don’t find anything in my head, what else could be doing this?” The chance that her dream was just a simple co-incidence was long gone off the proverbial table.

“I truly don’t know: an alien influence perhaps? Someone is sending a kind of wave length that works on your mental signature and not mine? Or maybe it’s Torchwood mucking about? Though it’s pretty unlikely they would experiment on the Director’s daughter without permission…You don’t think that Pete….”

“Okay!” Rose wiped her hands on the damp dish towel. It had been her turn to wash and his to dry. “Let’s do this. And you,” she poked him in the chest, “you better be nice in there. I don’t want a migraine or anything.”

The Doctor looked concerned. “You must know I’ll be extremely careful! However I can’t promise you won’t get a headache depending how deep I have to go.”

Rose shook her head, “That’s okay. I know you’ll be careful. You wouldn’t hurt me if you could help it.”

They retreated to the bedroom for maximum comfort.

The mental connection was a smooth and pleasurable as the first time. _I could get addicted to this_. Rose sighed softly imagining lowering her mental resistance (“shields” they called them in scifi shows she remembered) and welcoming his questing presence wherever he wanted to roam. She couldn’t “see” what he was looking at and other than periodically sending her reassuring waves of love and affection, he was completely silent as he worked. She didn’t know if he’d peeked into her secrets but she was strangely okay with everything that had made her nervous before. _“Completion”, that’s what I’m feeling, two halves made whole. I wonder if the Doctor feels the same; I’ll have to ask him._

Rose didn’t feel it coming but suddenly she was running headlong down an alley. She was going too fast and nearly did a face plant before getting herself under control. It was night and Donna was there. She called out to her, asking if she was alright, and what were those fireworks.

Rose tried to orient herself. She noted that Donna had partially pulled back her hair and was wearing a different coat. _Not the same time period then._ “I don’t know…I was just…” _I was just lying on the bed letting the Doctor probe my mind. He must have pushed a big red button or something._

Then Donna recognized her. “You’re the one: Christmas Eve, I met you in town.”

“Donna, wasn’t it?” Rose tried to be friendly without betraying anything. _So this dream follows the last one somehow._

“What was your name?”

Deep in her gut she knew she couldn’t say. Somehow saying ‘Rose Tyler’ would be dangerous here so she ignored the question and tried for idle chit chat. _Let’s just keep this friendly and see where it goes._ But her gaze kept sliding off Donna’s face to her back, as if there was something there. She couldn’t see anything but she had the strongest impression.… Donna called her on it – claiming she was doing it again.

Rose scrambled to make sense of her words. _What was I doing? When had I done it before? What is that behind her, hiding on her back?_ She tried to focus as Donna’s voice escalated, revealing her irritated distress. _Blimey, is she always this prickly? How did the Doctor put up with it? Right; Donna had been kinda forced on him. But that was at the beginning, later they became fast friends. Wait: what is she saying? What does this mean? How can I help her?_ “What are you doing for Christmas?” _Where did THAT idea come from?!?_

Donna was frustrated at the change of conversation.

Suddenly Rose had the strongest sense of foreboding and an urge to get Donna away from London. She tried to be casual but also firmly plant the idea in Donna’s head to leave the city before Dec 25th.

“Can’t afford it.”

“Well no, you’ve got that raffle ticket.”

“How do you know about that?” _How do I know? But I just do. Hey, this is my dream I guess I can make things up. Okay, so I know things; run with it, Tyler!_

“First prize: luxury weekend break. Use it Donna Noble.” _Ooops! Did she ever tell me her last name in this place? Maybe she won’t notice._

“Why won’t you tell me your name?” _There’s that tough suspicious nature again. I’m glad the Doctor didn’t inherit that._ Rose wouldn’t/couldn’t/daren’t answer her. Rose made herself stand still as Donna got into her personal space, using her extra height in a bid for intimidation. “I think you should leave me alone.” 

Rose jerked upright, out of the Doctor’s embrace.

“Rose!”

She spun around to look at him. “I just did it again!”

“I know! One second you were here and then the next you’d just faded right away – in your head that is, not your body – your body stayed right here on the bed keeping me company. One moment you were thinking such lovely thoughts and the next your consciousness just slipped through my metaphorical fingers. Rose, what did you dream?”

Rose waved away his question, seeking answers to her own. “What did you do, Doctor? Did you find a bid red button or something?”

“Big red…no. No I didn’t trip anything to set you off. I couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary, even with a deeper probe.” He seemed as if to say more, but closed his lips instead.

_He’s keeping secrets? At a time like this?_ “Terrific,” she muttered and rolled off the bed heading for the loo. A sharp pain in her big toe brought her up sort. “Ow!”

Instantly the Doctor joined her, kneeling to examine the sore foot. “You bent back your toe nail and there’s some bruising.” In wonderment he stared up at her. “How did you do that?”

“I must have stubbed my toe. Over there, I was going too fast and I practically fell right on my face. In my dream I must have tripped on something.”

“Rose, your body is physically manifesting your dreams! Your brain can’t distinguish between the dream state and reality.” Rose remembered how damp and chilled she was after the first episode. _I was damp and chilled because it was cold and wet over there._ “What happens to you over there to some extent is happening to you here.”

“But what does it mean?” _And what were you going to say a second ago?_

“I don’t know, but this is very serious. You have to be very careful from now on.” The Doctor looked worried and for a moment Rose shared his fear. _But my dreams haven’t really been about me – they’ve been about you and Donna._

“Tell me you dream.”

Rose hobbled back to the edge of the bed and told him her dream in as much detail as possible. She also explained how she’d felt very strongly about not divulging her name and how she’d felt equally strong that Donna needed to get out of the city. “I even knew about this raffle ticket that Donna had and how that was going to be the way she got out of the city for next Christmas.”

“For Christmas?”

“Yeah; why?”

The Doctor paced the breadth of the room, smacking his forehead and tugging at his hair. “Think…think…thinkity think you stupid head! It’s right there on the tip of my tongue…yes… yes…yes!” He spun around and grinned. “I’ve got it Rose Tyler! It was what you said about Donna’s back and how there almost seemed like something was there. Oh this is clever,” he muttered to himself. “Can’t explain it, but we can work with it. I can’t believe I didn’t see this before.”

“What, Doctor, what?”

He joined her on the bed and quickly related the incident on Shan Shen. “The beetle was part of the Trickster’s brigade. It feeds off ripples of time, getting you to make small choices, minute timeline changes. Some call it a variation on the butterfly effect. Usually the universe compensates around you and just goes on its merry way, but in Donna’s case it created a whole big parallel world. It was truly remarkable and I told her so, but I never did give it a whole lot of thought afterwards because suddenly I was on the biggest adventure of my lifetimes with you coming back and Bad Wolf leading the way. Now seeing it in hindsight as it were…” He paused thoughtfully and she waited patiently.

“Rose, you said in your first dream that I died and that Donna never met me, didn’t know who I was at all. If I died that day in the Thames then I wasn’t around for any of the things that followed: the Judoon, the Carrionites, the Adipos, or Sontarans…. I wouldn’t have been aboard the Titanic for instance and it would have crashed into Buckingham Palace that next Christmas Day. A crash of that size would have been akin to a nuclear bomb detonating – London would have been obliterated.”

“Are you saying I knew that and that was why I wanted Donna to get out of town? To save her life?” Even as she asked the question, Rose knew the answer. He’d told her about the Titanic over lunch.

“Yes. When I caught up with Donna in Shan Shen, the beetle was already dead and she was forgetting most of her experience under its influence. That parallel word had ceased to exist and like a dream her memories of it were fading and being overwritten by reality. Donna did manage to tell me about a woman she met over there, someone who knew me and told her to warn me about the stars going out and the darkness coming. She never knew the woman’s name, only that she was blonde and that she told her to say two words to me.”

“Bad Wolf,” Rose offered, connecting the dots on the logic trail the Doctor was laying out. “I was the woman.”

“You _are_ the woman.”

“But I never hopped into a parallel world like that one. I don’t remember doing any of this.”

“Because you hadn’t back then; it’s happening right now.”

“But you remember – ”

“Because for me it’s in the past; but for you it’s in the present. Remember? Timey-wimey time travel, Rose.”

“Yeah, okay, but how am I getting over there? The walls are sealed off.”

“Now that I don’t know, at least not yet. Perhaps the walls are only sealed off physically, not psychically?” He frowned thoughtfully. “But it would take a psychic of phenomenal ability to do such a thing.”

“And I’m not psychic.”

“Not in any way that I’m acquainted with, but there are still a few new things out there.”

“This is mental,” Rose declared giving voice to a thought she’d had earlier that day. “And I don’t mean up here,” she tapped her forehead. “I mean totally off the rails weird. But okay, let’s say you’re right and somehow – which at the moment I suppose is largely irrelevant – I am going into this parallel world and helping Donna. What’s next? What do I do to get her back into the right reality?”

The Doctor sighed. “That’s the problem. Donna couldn’t tell me much about her life in that world. Just that it was pretty awful. We do know at some point you tell Donna about the stars going out and that the darkness is coming. And we know that you tell her to say to me ‘Bad Wolf’. The rest of it we’ll just have to make up as we go along.”

“But what if I mess up? Won’t that be paradox? What about reapers?”

“Since the memory of, and the existence of, that world is now gone from my timeline, you can’t create a paradox easily. In fact, it will only be a paradox if you fail to get Donna out of it and she fails to tell me what little I know. Even then, if I’d found her with the beetle still intact and active, I probably would have found a way to remove it and she would’ve recovered. And as far as speaking ‘Bad Wolf’, you were already on your way, Bad Wolf or not.” The more he spoke, the more confident he appeared. Rose wondered if he did that often: talking himself into believing his own craziness.

“Alright,” Rose acceded. She didn’t have a better answer to offer. “So I know what I need to do, just not how I’m to do it. Well, nothing new there, right? You just need to tell me everything that would be happening as you remember it and I’ll have to adapt that intel to my circumstances.” _You can start with what you were about to say and didn’t a moment ago._

“You make it sound easy.”

“No, I break it down into bite sized pieces and then I swallow ‘em, one bite at a time.” She gave him a wolfish grin.

He beamed with pride. “Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth”

She nodded, “In all its parallel variations.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been re-watching "Turn Left" to capture dialogue details (to keep this a tight to canon as possible) and am impressed again on how wonderful a performance Catherine Tate gives us. She practically carried the whole show! No wonder I love her (in a purely platonic, admiring sort of way). It's fun keeping this restricted to Rose's POV.


	7. Cram Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose gets a crash course on the Doctor's adventures. The Doctor shares some things he has learned.

They used the rest of the afternoon and several pots of tea to educate Rose on the adventures and monsters that had directly impacted the earth in the span of time between her falling and returning.

Rose filled a note book with names, dates, locations and circumstances. It was hard not to be distracted by the stories and more than once Rose felt a pang of jealousy for Martha Smith and Donna Noble and what they got to see and do alongside the Doctor. She’d been thrilled to hear of Captain Jack and shivered to learn of the Master. Her heart broke to learn about Jenny and secretly wished that she had somehow miraculously survived. _He shouldn’t be condemned to be alone. Why couldn’t the universe be kind just that once?_

They also speculated on potential outcomes with the Doctor removed from the equation. “A lot of this may be pure rubbish. There are too many variables,” the Doctor complained for the nth time. He clearly didn’t like to think about things in that way – for all his bluff and bluster about being so impressive, actually being that impressive (aka a proper hero) scared him.

“It’s what we got, so it’s what we’ll use,” Rose reasoned. “We still don’t know who or what has sent me into this parallel world but they must mean it for good, yeah? I mean we know I help get her out, and she has to get out so she’s there when Davros captures the TARDIS and tries to destroy it. Donna has to be there or you’ll never…well, be born.”

The Doctor nodded solemnly. There was huge scope for this to go pear shape. They’d discussed how he couldn’t enter into Rose’s dream/Donna’s altered reality. His psychic abilities were too limited. The only help he could be was in intelligence gathering and debriefing. Rose had to do this on her own.

Rose chewed the end of her pen. Not for the first time, she was grateful that the Doctor had an eidetic memory. There was a so much to remember but he could describe things in such detail that she could imagine herself present. He also extrapolated some relational nuances that she was pretty sure sprang from some part of Donna which he’d inherited. The time lord she’d known hadn’t been able (or refused) to make those types of connections. Yet it was those connections, those nuances that Rose latched onto to make the litany of facts memorable. 

Finally Rose was able to recite the information to the Doctor’s satisfaction. “I feel like I’ve just crammed for finals,” Rose complained.

“You did,” the Doctor agreed. “And you will pass with flying colours. I believe in you, Rose Tyler.”

“Thanks.” She stretched and rolled her neck and shoulders. “We’ve been cooped up all day. Let’s go stretch our legs, gets some fresh air and eat out. I’m starved.”

“You don’t want to try for another dream?” Although both of them knew they weren’t technically dreams, it seemed the best terminology for the phenomena.

Rose paused. “No. I’m too hungry to sleep and we don’t know how you knocked me out doing the deep scan. I vote for exercise and food.”

The Doctor bowed in mock deference. “You have the lead on this adventure. Allons-y!”

They strolled hand in hand down the walk. It had rained on and off all day, but for now the heavy clouds held back their moisture. A few other couples were venturing out in the lull and more than one dog walker had to detour around the lovers as they gave their canine charges the requisite exercise.

Their favourite chippy was several blocks over but neither of them complained about the distance. The Doctor was still a very active man and he often commented how his long legs twitched to run. Rose didn’t feel the need to run, but if she had to run she knew it would be with his hand firmly clasped in hers.

As luck would have it their favourite booth was vacant and their favourite waitress on duty. Rose arched an eyebrow in pleasant surprise at all the things that seemed to be going their way. Dreams aside, this was turning out to be a great weekend and she told the Doctor as such.

“Don’t jinx it, Rose.” He ran his thumb over hers. “Not that I believe in hexes, jinxes or superstitious mumbo-jumbo, but we are swimming in uncharted waters.”

“Without a plan or a map…you should feel right at home!”

“Oi, I always have a plan!”

Rose let her amused skepticism show on her face.

“What’s with that look? I do, Rose; I always have a plan. It’s just that, well… sometimes those plans have to be recalculated to adapt to uncontrollable variables.” _In other words you make it up as you go along._

“Right.”

“And a map; I always have a map. Well that is, I always had the TARDIS. Better than a map any day,” he snapped his fingers for emphasis.

“I miss her too.” The TARDIS coral was quietly growing in the basement but even with Donna’s suggested treatment it was a long way from being a sentient time traveling space ship.

“Yeah. Still; this life it’s not too bad, eh? There’s a lot to be said for the slow path. You…erm…you notice a lot of things.”

Rose leaned her elbows on the table and cupped her chin, “Such as?”

“Days of the week. They come in order now. No more skipping Sundays and you know what? I don’t mind Sundays now. You need a good Sunday to finish off the weekend and get ripped and ready for Mondays.”

“Hmmmmm. What else?”

“Time. Used to be I could feel all of time, time and space swirling and whirling around me. Time lines weaving in and out: past, present, future. As a time lord I was fully acquainted with time but I was ignorant of one important thing.”

“What was that?”

“How time _feels_ in the linear: the passage of each precious tick and tock at terminal velocity. Such considerations were purely academic before - even when I was exiled to Earth I knew it was temporary. Now I understand why you lot throw yourselves at life. That throw, it’s all you’ve got. It makes you incredibly brave and strong.”

With that pronouncement the food arrived and Rose thought it was a good time to make a toast. “To the slow path,” she offered. To happily embrace this mortal life, the Doctor was the bravest man she knew.

“The slow path,” he replied and they clinked glasses.


	8. The Darkness Is Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cuz when you come with me Donna, sorry. So sorry but…”

Rose waited. She knew Donna would come – that was the pattern. Until tonight the only person she interacted with in this dream/alternate reality was her. Until tonight. Tonight she’d been pulled under almost as soon as she closed her eyes. _I hope I didn’t scare him. He’ll be watching closely and waiting for me to wake up._

Tonight she actually found herself with Torchwood. Not the Torchwood of Canary Wharf but the small team from Cardiff, led by her dearest friend, Jack, the man who gave the second best hugs in the whole universe. After his shock of seeing her “flash in” things progressed quickly as the Sontarans initiated their attack and triggered the deadly Atmos devices. Thanks to the Doctor’s foreknowledge, Rose was able to help them with a plan. It was desperate and deadly but if she (and the Doctor) were right everything would be reset correctly once Donna broke free of the Trickster’s trap. All of this would never play out this way. They would all be safe. Nevertheless, it broke her heart to let them go. She’d cried into Jack’s shoulder. She couldn’t help them anymore. She had a date with Donna.

When Donna walked around the corner, neither of them was surprised to meet. Immediately Rose could see that this reality was wearing Donna down. She looked wan and tired. She looked like she’d lost weight and Rose had a strong feeling that time was running out.

They sat on a bench in the deserted park and Rose explained about the Atmos devices and how the whole world was suffering. Donna asked if there was any way to stop it and Rose assured her that there was a tiny band of fighters up there on the Sontaran ship even now. (She and the Doctor had agreed to mention to Donna key words and events in hopes of triggering her true memories.)

As the fire seared across the sky, Rose bit back hot tears. Their plan had worked but the price was too high. This has to stop.

“You’re always wearing the same clothes,” Donna remarked.

 _Am I? What am I wearing exactly_? She vowed to find out before she left – it might be important.

“Why won’t you tell me your name?”

“None of this was meant to happen.” _Come on, Donna, wake up!_ Rose went on to talk about the Doctor trying to get Donna to remember him. 

Donna refused to be baited. “Who are you?”

“I was like you. I used to be you. You traveled with him Donna…” But Donna didn’t believe her and the more she talked the more agitated the red head got until she got up to leave.

Rose tried to get her to stay, to remember, to appeal to the loving and generous heart the Doctor had told her beat behind her rough Cheswick exterior. She warned her that something worse was coming, but Donna didn’t get it. “Trust me we need the Doctor, more than ever. I’ve – I’ve been pulled across from a different universe because every single universe is in danger. It’s coming. It’s coming from across the stars and nothing can stop it.” 

“What is?”

“The darkness.” _And that darkness will consume me if we don’t reset reality and save the Doctor!_

But Donna argued with her. Why did she keep telling her this? She couldn’t’ do anything. It broke Rose’s heart to hear the pain and despair in Donna’s voice; brilliant, brave Donna Noble, believing such terrible lies.

“Donna, you’re the most important woman in the whole of creation!” _You are the reason I have the Doctor with me now. You must make it through this, please! We are depending on you._

“I need to you come with me.”

Donna smirked and rebuffed her and for a moment Rose saw the spark that made her special and worthy of being his companion. Finally inspiration struck and she asked after her grandfather’s telescope.

When she had Donna’s full attention again, she assured her when the time was right she’d come with her. “But you’ve got to be certain.” Rose was going to make sure Donna knew the stakes and made her own choices. “Cuz when you come with me Donna, sorry. So sorry but…” and Rose knew that whatever happened this Donna or the Doctor Donna was ultimately just as doomed. She fought hard to keep her face and voice neutral. _I am not going to cry. I’m not!_ “But you’re going to die.” The shocked and confused look on Donna’s face was like a drop kick to her stomach. _Let me outta here!_

She woke with customary abruptness to find the Doctor hovering over her, one hand stroking her hair the other clasping hers close to his chest. She took a deep breath, swallowed down the bile and felt tears squeeze out of her eye. 

Without a word he drew her up into his arms and rocked her gently.

Later she told the Doctor everything. 

“I’m afraid to go to sleep again,” she confessed. “Seeing Jack – it was too hard, too awful.”

“But that will all be changed once Donna gets free. Rose we know now that you are instrumental in saving her, in saving all of us. I’m sorry my love, but you have to go back. I wish I could go for you, I wish there was more I could do.”

“Knowing you were waiting for me helped.”

The Doctor looked thoughtful. “Now that we know you can interact with others in that world, maybe we can do more. I think Donna needs to see the beetle to believe us.”

“How am I going to do that?”

“Well, I have an idea. It’s a big idea but I’ll talk you through it and then you can dream it into reality.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see I've ended up posting this on Valentine's Day. Sorry. So sorry. But at least the Doctor has a plan...


	9. Sunday Slump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the worst possible time Rose suffers insomnia.

Rose rummaged through the back of her closet until her questing fingers felt familiar fabric. She had never thought about her clothing until Donna’s remark.

“I didn’t know you still had that.”

“It’s my Dimension Cannon jacket.”

“I know. It’s also what you wore for our first kiss.” He swept her hair to the side and planted one on her neck.

“It’s what I’m wearing in my dreams. Donna says I’m always wearing the same thing.”

“Oh really?” He plucked it from her hands for a closer inspection before waving it in her face. “This could be very useful. Having a tactile touchstone could enhance the dream state.”

“Enhance how? It’s going to be more real? Do I even want that?” 

“Enhanced as in more control. You might be able to manipulate events.”

“Oh well that would be good.” She’d told him about her increasing sense of urgency and they’d both agreed to push forward as soon as possible. 

Unfortunately she had not been able to fall back asleep Saturday night. The dreams were far from restful and weariness was making her irritable, but her body just couldn’t seem to shut down again. Rose thought it could be a case of being over tired. _So much for a nice weekend; we’ve already lost most of it thanks to these stupid dreams._

Now it was early Sunday morning. The Doctor had cut off all caffeine and sugar and subjected her to a mind-numbing recitation of Gallifreyan poetry. Although they’d both yawned mightily after the second hour, sleep had stubbornly eluded her.

While the Doctor went to tend the baby TARDIS, Rose cleaned the apartment in hopes that the exertion would tire her. She even sat down and entered the last month’s receipts and balanced the cheque book. She even turned on the Parliamentary station on cable but the static image and the neutral music did nothing but have her mind wandering back over their plan. 

“How about hypnosis?” she asked him when he returned.

“It’s pretty hard to dream when you’re hypnotized.”

“Sleeping pills? Mum gave me some when I first came here. I think they’re still around.”

“What did you need sleeping pills for? Oh. Never mind.” They shared a look of pained understanding. Having the Doctor probe her mind had its benefits; she had so much less to explain aloud. “I’m afraid the sedative effects of sleeping pills would limit the efficacy of the dream state.”

“Rats.”

“Relax, Rose. Humans have to sleep sooner or later.”

She huffed her disappointment. _He’s right; I’m over thinking this. I’ll dose off when I have to and not a second before. I can’t will myself to sleep, that’s for sure._ Rose never could fall asleep on command. She also used to have a hard time waking up, but that was when her sleep pattern was normal, not shredded with vivid and apparently life-altering dreams.

She tried to push the problem to the side and reach for another solution. When you can’t push through, try going around. “Okay, so it’s Sunday morning. How about a fry-up breakfast and another stroll? Maybe food in my belly and fresh air in my lungs will be the ticket.”

“A very sensible suggestion; feeling a bit peckish myself. I’ll chop up the onions and mushrooms if you want to start the bacon?”

They worked well together in the kitchen. The Doctor told her about the flaaarnum cook-off he’d once been asked to judge and how it had gone all pear shape when the secret ingredient turned out to be ginger. Rose laughed at his antics and commiserated with his then companion, Jamie, who’d had to get him back to the TARDIS before he thoroughly disgraced himself.

After they’d eaten and washed up, they went for the suggested stroll in the park across from their pricey London townhouse. It was early spring and very few flowers were hardy enough to open their blossoms. The grass was still very wet so they kept to the cobblestone paths that crisscrossed the green. Rose saw a park bench that reminded her of her last dream. It wasn’t the same bench because it faced in the wrong direction but the visual association was enough to trigger her sense of urgency again.

“Doctor, I’m worried about our plan. I know you think I can manipulate these dreams yeah? But what if I can’t find UNIT or they don’t recognize me or they haven’t got the TARDIS? It was under the Thames after all.”

“Rose, UNIT will know who you are and I gave you my security code if all else fails. Of course they’d have retrieved the TARDIS. They have explicit instructions to secure her if I am absent or incapacitated. The TARDIS can never fall into enemy hands.”

“But she’d be locked up tight; ‘All the hoards of Genghis Khan’.”

“Genghis Khan was a very mighty but primitive man. The proper people can breach the TARDIS given enough time and the right technology.”

Rose frowned; she didn’t like the idea of her beloved TARDIS being vulnerable.

The Doctor halted Rose and turned her to face him. “Rose, it’s going to be alright. I might not have my time-sense like I used to, but I’m pretty sure I’d feel it if things of this magnitude were unraveling. I believe in you. I always have.” 

Rose stared up into his face, searching for and seeing the calm assurance in his dark eyes. Sure he was concerned – the tick in his cheek muscle gave that away – but his gaze was steady and true. No Oncoming Storm brewing, no stressed out time lord, just him looking at her with open loving faith. She grabbed the lapels of his coat and tugged his face down to hers in a searing kiss.

“Oi, get a room!” someone shouted.

They broke apart with a laugh and the Doctor slung a possessive arm about her shoulders. “Great idea!” he shouted back. “I’ll take care of that directly. Any other suggestions, mate?”

Rose blushed and elbowed him with a hiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say one more chapter to go, but since this was only supposed to be a 3 (albeit longer) chapter story to begin with, who am I kidding? But 10 seemed like the perfect number...then again I am writing about the metacrisis Doctor, so 10+ would be more appropriate...


	10. Donna Believes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna sees the truth. Rose sees an old friend and recognizes a new one.

Apparently a round of vigorous love making was good for sleeping. Rose fell asleep in the Doctor’s arms clad only in her ‘dimension cannon’ jacket and a satisfied smile.

Instead of being flung into the other world, Rose walked -- right through a warehouse wall and into a huge staging area. She was immediately greeted by a pair of security guards and ushered forward. _So much for contacting UNIT about the TARDIS, my dream has already taken care of that._

“M’am, we’ve completed the conversion connections just as you ordered and interfaced the TARDIS matrix with the quantum generator. We are initiating the final stage of chronological shift testing.”

Rose blinked. _That’s what the Doctor said to do. This is handy: I’ve skipped over the science part I was most worried about._ “Ah, yes very good. How…how is she?” She nodded toward the TARDIS whose doors were propped open by the heavy cables that spilled forth and connected with the machinery.

“Energy levels continue to decline at a small but steady rate.”

The Doctor’s words echoed in her head. _“As a time lord… I was ignorant of one important thing. How time feels in the linear: the passage of each precious tick and tock at terminal velocity.”_

“Right, time I fetched Donna Noble then. Erm, carry on everyone.”

In a dizzying surge, Rose moved from a warehouse to a rooftop in the blink of an eye. 

Donna and her grandfather were staring at the darkening sky. She must have made a small sound because Donna turned slowly around, shoulders rounded with fatigue and defeat. “I’m ready.”

Rose wanted to hug her but kept her arms to herself. This version of Donna didn’t know her and if she was guessing correctly saw her more as a tormentor than a friend.

Back down at street level a UNIT transport with uniformed guards waited. Quietly and efficiently they were driven away. Donna seemed lost in thought so Rose kept silent. She wanted to wipe her damp palms on her slacks but as everyone was treating her like a commander, she kept still. _Don’t mess with the illusion, Tyler._ She mentally reviewed the Doctor’s instructions yet again, rehearsing in her head the technical jargon that would accompany the night’s project. _So far, so good._

At the warehouse, Rose led the way to the staging area. The commander snapped to attention and saluted her. “I told you, don’t salute.”

“Well since you’re not telling us your name….”

“What, you don’t know it either?”

Rose checked on computer, making some new adjustments. “Too many realities; trust me, the wrong word in the wrong place can change the entire causal nexus.” She could tell by their silence that she’d lost them and tried not to smirk. _So this is how he feels._

“She talks like that…a lot,” the commander explained to Donna. “And you must be Miss Noble.”

“Donna.”

“Captain Marissa McCumber. Thank you for this.”

“I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

Rose rejoined the women. “Is it awake?”

“Seems to be quiet today, just ticking over. Like it’s waiting.”

Rose gazed at the TARDIS with mixed feelings. She knew it was grieving the Doctor and suffering from their cannibalization. Forcing a happier tone, she asked Donna, “Do you want to see it?”

“What’s a Police Box?”

“They salvaged it from beneath the Thames. Just go inside.” Rose was anticipating her first reaction to the bigger-on-the-inside blue box; she needed some wonderment to lighten the tension. Besides they had agreed Donna would need a lot of convincing. Who better to convince someone than the TARDIS?

“What for?”

“Just go in.”

Donna’s gobsmacked amazement brought a genuine smile to Rose’s face. This part never, ever got old. Before Donna was finished her comparative inspection, she couldn’t tell which one of them was giggling more. With some pride in her voice, Rose called out, “So, what do you think?”

Donna stepped out slowly, clearly stunned. “Can I have a coffee?”

Hot coffee procured, Rose led her back inside for a better introduction. “She’s called the TARDIS – that stands for Time and Relative Dimension In Space. This room should shine with its light, but I think it’s dying.” She gave it a comforting stroke and the rotor column moved slightly in response. _Well, at least you recognize me in this weird alternate reality. Hello old girl._ “Still trying to help.” Rose bit back a sob. She dearly missed the TARDIS. “And…and it belonged to the Doctor. He was a Time Lord, last of his kind.”

“But if he was so special, what was doing with me.”

“He thought you were brilliant.”

Donna scoffed quietly, “Don’t be stupid.”

“But you are. It just took the Doctor to show you that, simply by being with him.” Rose was caught up in a wave of nostalgia; she couldn’t look at Donna for fear of breaking down. “He did the same to me…to everyone he touches.”

“Were you and him…?” The question hung in the air.

Rose stared at Donna. She couldn’t say it. She let her face tell the truth for her and then she changed the subject, daring to run a questing hand over Donna’s shoulder. _Best if we both remember why we’re here._ “Do you want to see it?”

“No,” she blurted out fearfully, but then she sighed, “Alright.”

They exited the TARDIS and moved to stand Donna in the center of a circle of lights and mirrors. Her first reaction was predictable panic as seeing the giant black beetle clinging to her back. Rose longed to run to her but she knew she had to stand outside of the circle. There was no telling what TARDIS would reveal about her – probably turn all glowing with void particles and wouldn’t that just freak everyone out. Calling and shouting calming words, she finally got Donna’s attention again.

“What is it?”

“We don’t know,” Rose lied.

“Oh. Thanks.” Donna could shift from panic to sarcastic in the bat of an eye. _I bet you kept the Doctor on his toes._

“It feeds off time by changing time. By making someone’s life take a different turn, like a…meeting never make…children never born…a life never loved. But with you it’s…” Rose’s voice trailed off as new ideas and information was flooding her mind. _Where is this coming from? TARDIS is that you?_

“But I never did anything important.”

“Hey! One day that thing made you turn right instead of left.”

“What’s that?”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t remember that – it’s like a whole different world but by turning right you never met the Doctor. The whole world just changed around you.” _How do I know about turning right instead of left?_ Yet Rose was completely confident in her words.

“Can you get rid of it?” Donna’s voice was small, almost childlike and Rose’s heart ached for her.

“I can’t even touch it. I suppose it’s in a state of flux.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Rose confessed feeling almost giddy. “That’s something the Doctor would say.”

“You liar! You told me I was special but to that thing I’m just a host!”

“No, it’s more than that. The readings are strange. It’s like reality is bending around you.”

“Because of this thing!”

“No, no. We’re getting separate readings from you and they’ve always been there, since the day you were born.” _It’s like you’ve been prepared for this moment all your life. You are special, oh so very, very special, and in a strange way I’m glad I got to know you better through all this._ “I thought it was just the Doctor we needed, but it’s both of you. The Doctor and Donna: together to stop the stars from going out.”

“Why? What can I do?” Donna was wilting under the barrage of information. “Turn it off, please?”

As soon that the power was cut, Rose rushed in to steady her friend and offer comfort. “It’s still there though,” she cautioned her. _Just because we can’t see something, doesn’t negate it’s existence._

“What can I do to get rid of it?” Donna whispered.

“You’re going to travel in time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. (10+ in honour of the metacrisis Doctor). I've lifted almost all of the dialogue straight from "Turn Left" (thank goodness for pause buttons!) as we approach the climax.


	11. Sacrifice and Salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna pays the ultimate price to free herself. Rose earns a deeper understanding. The Doctor is eager to be about the next adventure.

They wasted no time in outfitting Donna with a time travel harness. Rose took the opportunity to drill Donna on what needed to happen. “The TARDIS has tracked down the moment of intervention: Monday the 25th at one minute past 10 in the morning. You’re in your car and you must turn left instead of right.” She rattled off the streets and the directions before she realized what she was saying _. Just go with it, you can wonder at how you know this stuff later._ She worried that Donna was too overwhelmed to understand her instructions, so she repeated them over and over. To her credit Donna never snapped at her, not once. 

“I don’t want to see that thing on my back,” Donna warned, once more in the great circle.

“No the mirrors are there just to bounce chromos energy back into the center which we then control and select the destination.”

“It’s a time machine!”

“It’s a time machine!” Rose agreed.

“Power up!” the commander ordered. Donna flinched as the lights came on one by one.

“How do you know it’s going to work?”

“Hmmm?” Rose was feeling cheeky. _Won’t be long now._ “Oh yeah, we don’t. We’re just guessing.”

Donna laughed bitterly, “Oh, brilliant!”

“Just remember when you get to the junction change the car’s direction at one minute past 10.”

“How do I do that?”

“It’s up to you.”

“Well,” Donna was thinking it through, crazy as it seemed, “I’ll just have to run up to myself and have a good argument I guess.”

“I’d like to see that!”

“Activate lodestone.”

“Good luck,” Rose wanted to say so much more but words failed her.

“I’m ready.”

“One minute past 10.” _I sound like a broken record!_

“Cuz I understand now. You said I was going to die but you meant this whole world is going to blink out of existence. But that’s not dying ‘cuz a better world takes its place – the Doctor’s world – and I’m still alive. That’s right, isn’t it?” The engine’s whine was increasing. “I don’t die if I change things, I don’t die. That right, isn’t it?”

Rose wished she could punch something – preferably the Trickster. “I’m sorry.”

“But I can’t die! I’ve got a future with the Doctor! You told me!”

_That future will all be in your past. The only adventure you have left with him is the one that costs you everything. Losing all your memories of him will be a death of sorts – another version of the white wall._

“Activate!”

Rose fled before she saw Donna disappear. The keening sobs escaping her were drowned out by the machinery as it peaked in energy. It was all so unfair! Suddenly Rose stopped. _I didn’t tell her what to tell the Doctor! I forget to say ‘Bad Wolf”! Donna, wait!_

Then it was morning. She stood on the sidewalk and Donna was on down on the street. Rose understood it all in a heartbeat. _She’s stopped the lorry and blocked the traffic with her own body! Oh, Donna I am truly so, so sorry. But you are absolutely brilliant: you did it, you’ll turn left._

Ignoring the bedlam around her, Rose walked to her side and knelt down. Donna was dying, but she was aware enough to recognize her. “Tell him this. Two words…” she bent over and whispered in her ear to make sure she was heard, “Bad Wolf.”

Rose wakened slowly as if coming to the surface from a deep pool. With her she brought a new level of understanding. It all made sense now. Judging by the dim light seeping around the curtains it was daytime, probably Monday morning. She had slept for over twelve hours. She turned her head to see him asleep beside her. Gone were the days when the Doctor could go without sleep for days on end. She indulged in studying his relaxed face. _It worked. We are still here so it all worked._

“Rose,” his voice was gravelly with sleep, but his eyes were clear and alert.

“It worked. She did it.” _And I know now why you love her so; Donna was magnificent._

“Of course. You are brilliant and we make a good team.” He reached for her, tugging her close.

“The best,” she snuggled into his side. “But we had help. Donna was absolutely brilliant; I totally see why you love her. And the TARDIS, even though she was dying in that world, she still helped tremendously. And Bad Wolf filled in all the gaps.”

“Bad Wolf?” his voice was edged with trepidation.

Rose sat up slightly, so she could see his face. She was convinced of her conclusions by the guilty look on his face. “Yeah. All that extra knowledge I had, all the details even you couldn’t possibly know…they came from the Bad Wolf. That’s why I used them as a signal for her to tell you. I don’t know how Bad Wolf was involved exactly but I expect you have an idea…?”

He squirmed under her gaze. “Rose, I told you about the Game Station, about how you merged with the TARDIS and the time vortex. I told you – I believed, truly, truly believed – that I removed the entire vortex from you. In those moments yes, you were the Bad Wolf but it was too much for you, it was killing you and I had to return you to normal.”

“But in those moments I saw _all_ of time and space. Bad Wolf saw what would happen with Donna and set about to correct it.” _She saw that we’d be together over here in Pete’s World – that you would be you and that I needed to be here, with you._ “She didn’t just erase the situation because she also saw it was the way for me to get to see who Donna was and understand why she is so precious to you…and I do by the way, Donna is an incredible person. Then, at just the right time, I was able to recall events and details only Bad Wolf knew because she gave them to me.” Rose tapped her temple.

The Doctor nodded carefully, eyes round.

“What happened, Doctor? Is Bad Wolf still inside me somehow, or did she just leave behind the information so even your telepathic probing missed it?”

“I truly don’t know. I was convinced that to save you I had to remove all of Bad Wolf and when you regained consciousness you had not memory of it, so I decided that that was the mechanism to protect you from her. Your mind had wiped away her existence in healing. So I left it alone for all those years. Then this weekend when I did scan you, I did as thorough a job as I could. I told you the truth when I said I found nothing.”

Rose rolled way to flop on her back. “Well,” she said to the ceiling. “I guess we will figure it out over time.” Strangely she felt comfortable with this fatalistic attitude. She trusted Bad Wolf. 

The Doctor rolled onto his side and leaned on his elbow. “I think we should take the day off. Call in sick or something.”

“What, so you can do more testing on me?”

“No. Well that would be a good idea, but no. Not right now. I have to have some tools and by tools I mean I have to build them and that would mean actually going in to work.”

Rose thought she followed that logic rather well, “So, why the day off? I’m surprisingly well rested and I’m guessing you are too?”

“Very much,” he slid down the zipper of her jacket, making his intent clear. “And after, when the shops open in a couple of hours,” he murmured into her ear, “I want to go ring shopping before Jackie gets home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. I've tried really hard to squeeze this into the cannon arc of DW. And the more I wrote of it, the more it made sense that the Rose Donna meets is actually from the future -- one who'd been debriefed on all their adventures. But as I rewatched and listened carefully I discovered that this Rose knew information even the Doctor could not tell her. I was left with only two conclusions. Either Rose had help from Bad Wolf, or she actually was Bad Wolf/the Moment! Obviously I chose that first option, but the second would be awesome too. What do you think?


End file.
